A friend of mine, Chaim Stern, writes a weekly satire on Israeli current events, he combines the various items into one "news" story. This week he managed to combine the Rosh HaShana 50 million shekel lottery with the likud central committee meeting where Sharons mic was cut off.
ARIEL SHARON ANNOUNCES RETIREMENTAFTER WINNING 50 MILLION IN LOTTERY
Breaking news - Ariel Sharon calledan urgent press conference an hour agoto announce his retirement from politicsafter winning the 50 million shekel prize in Mifal Hapais' "Big Drawing".
At the press conference, he started to makethe announcement but paused after it becameapparent that his microphone wasn't working.After waiting several minutes for the technicalcrew to fix the problem, he finally lost patience,pulled the winning ticket out of his pocket,and held it up, shouting "I'm outta here !"
He then went on a spontaneous shopping spreeat the Mashbir's electronics department, where hebought a new 72-inch-flat-screen TV, and repeatedlyasked the confused salesmen why they don't sellwaterproof fuses.
In other news, the IDF Air Force dropped papersin Arabic to Gaza residents warning them that ifthey continue to launch Kassam rockets then theIDF Air Force will continue to drop papers on arab villages.
by freelance reporter C. Stern
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